Big Beasts…Big Birds

“After all, it will be a big beast in the jungle and, as is the way with big beasts, it will develop its own habits and momentum” – From the Hansard archive 

On the eve of another big beast about to be elected in the UK I wonder what I will tell my children in 10 years’ time. “Sorry kids, I had no idea that blonde wigs would become compulsory”, “was there always a wall there?”, or will it simply be, “kids, unemployment is steady and the stock market’s looking to recover after that slight dip”. Suffice to say, all are a possibility, and all will become normal. The wig will keep your head warm and toasty; the wall will make you safe (or so they say) and your pension is a lottery as it always has been and always will be.

Big beasts have been here from time immemorial and as big beasts do, will rise to the top of the poo-pile over and over again. Some will bite more than others and some look stupidly incapable. I mean what was nature thinking by giving the T-Rex such small arms, no use to man (woman) and or beast. Well in so much as we know what those arms were used for, they certainly were not used for boxing. Anyway, the T-Rex was probably a bird first then a big bird then a beast of a bird then a small bird again. I mean, who does not think that that big crow eyeing your food was not once a savage 40ft croc-er-rex.

So, what am I saying as I sit here in a Hong Kong hotel, close the airport while the city centre rages in fear of the unknown. Well I could be saying that all things, situations and times are cyclical. There will be birds, bigger birds, terrible birds then small birds, over and over again; it just so happens that the time of the big bird is almost upon us, and anyway, these big (blonde) birds are only the first of the big birds that are to come along. Some will promise more biting than others, some will deliver more bites, some will take chunks ‘slowly’ and some will devour in an instance, but you can wager that all will be successful at something – it’s just we do not really know what that is yet.

I am not worried, why should I be, there is more to worry about than the fear of getting chased by a massive flesh-eating big bird. I have children, a wife, a mortgage, hopes and fears, insomnia and hyper activism. I have spots, “am I still growing” – I have deadly ambitions – I have a need to buy vinyl and most of all I have a fear of not being frightened of fucking up.

Give them a go and let them be and if they do not work they will be gone anyway, in time. Some with a whimper and some with a bang. Concentrate on the small stuff, really sweat it out and make it your passion!

Here are my small stuff passions – bigger than big beasts and more worry-some;

  1. Dust –
  2. Kids –
  3. Catherine Zeta Jones – long story, and really mental…
  4. Vacuuming (see number one) –
  5. Chaffing like a cow (see number two)

These are the sum of my worries –